Thx for the thoughts Ian.
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| Open Forums for ExChristian.Net > Rants and Replies > my admiration |
| Posted by: Ian Feb 10 2005, 09:06 PM |
| I am trying not to sound sycophantic here but after being a member of this board for almost 2 years I have to say that I have the highest admiration for anybody who can find the will to leave behind something that they have dedicated a good chunk of their lives to. I can`t even imagine the pain and anguish ( raised as a secular kid in a secular world with evil television and heavy metal) that came with deconverting . To have an entire world view dismantled and to start over again is incredible Anyone who can do that has my respect. |
| Posted by: Diogenes Feb 10 2005, 09:11 PM |
| I, for one appreciate that thought, Ian. On the other hand, I still deal with the remnants of the xian mindset in much of my thinking and I appreciate the perspective of someone who has never had his mind in the grip of relgion's iron claw, one whose thinking is far less muddled than mine. |
| Posted by: Merlinfmct87 Feb 10 2005, 09:47 PM | ||
I have to second this. Many of the board members here I've had the privilege to meet have gone through trauma of an unspeakable sort. The emotions it generates are staggering and multi-faceted... Awe that they made it through, Rage that the crime was perpetrated(and at the perpetrator), empathy and a desire to help, shock that it is still happening despite the "civilization" we live in, a healthy heaping of disollusionment... I'm not trying to say my life is easy sailing, but it's nothing compared to some of the stories here. That's precisely why I haven't submitted a testimony... I never went to church. I never dealt with Christianity. I was never beaten or otherwise abused. My mother loved me very much. Propping that up in the same category as some of the testimonies here would be obscene. The best I could ever hope to do here(and from what I'm told I have done) is provide help in whatever way I can. But I still have to salute you for getting out in one piece. You've made this place a wonderful home away from home. Merlin |
| Posted by: LloydDobler Feb 10 2005, 10:01 PM |
| Eh, I believe once saved always saved, so no real risk here. Thx for the thoughts Ian. |
| Posted by: Mad_Gerbil Feb 11 2005, 08:21 AM |
| A world view shift does require a great deal of bravery and is very painful. While it might sound odd coming from me I'm a firm believer in facing eternity (whatever it may or may not hold) based on your own thinking and not as a sheeple. |
| Posted by: notblindedbytheblight Feb 11 2005, 09:14 AM | ||
Dang-it! You did it again! Every once in a while....  |
| Posted by: Reach Feb 11 2005, 11:49 AM | ||
Thank you, Ian. I admire this as well. The thing is, the journey really is one that an individual has to take alone. Having company along the way, while pleasant and appreciated, does not begin to effect (diminish) the dismantling that is required on the deepest, most personal levels. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I heartily concur. |
| Posted by: bdp Feb 11 2005, 12:06 PM |
| For me it wasn't so much finding a will as facing a fact - I 'deconverted' because I HAD to, and I think it would have been a hundred times harder to keep on living all the lies it would have taken to stay in the fold. The difficult thing about it is knowing that I can never have back all the opportunities I passed up to remain 'pure' in my belief/lifestyle; maybe life is just loss anyway... bdp |
| Posted by: SmallStone Feb 11 2005, 12:50 PM |
| I'd like to add my respect/admiration to the list as well. I gave up the ghost at an age (15/16) when everything is in flux anyway. Hats off to those of you dealing with this as adults. |
| Posted by: fortunehooks Feb 11 2005, 03:34 PM |
| thank you ian. i don't have the eye-brow raising experiences of being in the fundamentalist levels of the establishment, and i think my parents for that. i am also glad that so many, who have been through the torrential weathers of life have found their own way to brighter days. i am tearing up, it's..... a great privilege..to be in the company of most.........of you. i am so sorry...thank you. |
| Posted by: spamandham Feb 11 2005, 07:30 PM | ||||
Well, thanks guys. But, I will admit that if I knew how I would end up back then, and the pain involved in transition, I seriously doubt I would have allowed myself to be exposed to that which could challenge me. Fortunately, like all fools I was cock-sure I was right, and so I had no fear of investigating.  |
| Posted by: Merlinfmct87 Feb 14 2005, 02:08 AM |
| I really have to give this a bump. It simply needs to be said. Diogenes: First, I've found you to be quite clear-headed, thank you very much . Second, this site was founded for help. Anytime Dio, Anytime  .Reach: I wouldn't be anywhere else  .fortunehooks: *hug*  spamandham: Now aren't you glad you looked?  .Merlin |
| Posted by: Pseudonym Feb 14 2005, 02:15 AM |
I agree whole heartedly. Being a Brit, I was also raised in a largely secular environment, and came to Christianity as a kind of intellectual exercise whereby I tried to reconcile the claims of the bible stories many of my school teachers spouted with the claims in my books on dinosaurs that the earth and its many lifeforms were not created overnight. It therefore came as something of a shock to me when I began to slowly learn that in America the ideology has such significant sway; I cannot imagine how tortuous, how gut-wrenching and painful the experience of deconstructing the preconceptions you have been programmed with is, but anyone with the strength, the tenacity and the raw intellect to do so has my undying and unlimited admiration.  |
| Posted by: spamandham Feb 14 2005, 10:18 AM | ||
Sure I am now that I've seen the other side and it isn't the dark abyss I thought it would be. |
| Posted by: EternalDarkness Feb 14 2005, 01:34 PM | ||
Thank you very much for your kind words, Ian. I've been steadily trying to unchain myself from Christianity for a little over a year now. So it's still very hard for me to cope with at times. And seeing as I'm going to be 22 next Monday, I think I qualify as an adult struggling with deconversion. I did dedicate most of my life to the church. It's only now that I realize how confused I felt and the level of cognative dissonance that went on. I haven't exactly found peace with my Christian past yet, but I'm working on it. It may take me several more years of my life. It's so hard to cope with leaving the "fold" because it was psychological rape that kept us there. |
| Posted by: Anomalie Feb 14 2005, 06:13 PM | ||
I have to agree with just 'Having' to leave. I could not take the mind twisting anymore, I am sure by now I would be in a mental institution of some kind or worse if I had stayed. The world shift was phenomenal. I remember a strong feeling that the sky was going to fall on my head and crush me. It was months before I had the guts to say to myself that "I am not a Christian". I sometimes have nightmares about hell after 2 years but I am so glad to be out and find myself. When I look at people in church I feel so sorry for them, especially the women who can't express the beauty (and sometimes insanity from a male point of view!) of their feminity. It was also so difficult being a teen male trying to come to terms with my sexuality, being made to feel that desiring a women was natural but wrong at the same time was so confusing and just made me into a repressed weirdo. Most of all I am just glad to be me and not a mind altered version of me. If people ask me what I am I will just say "I am me". Thanks for the kind words. |