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| Posted by: sexkitten Oct 20 2004, 11:52 AM | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Posted by: Muggy Knubber Jul 20 2004, 04:12 PM http://www.completeevil.com/geek.html A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys By Mikki Halpin and Victoria Maat So, your crush on the bass player from Vibrating Sandbox has finally died a whimpering death and you're wondering where to go from here. All the sinister dudes are either dating a series of interchangeable high-school riot girls in baby doll dresses and an overdose of manic panic, or permanently shacked up with some bitter old lady who pays all the bills. Which will it be, a wifely prison or a humiliating one night stand? Into this void of potential mates comes a man you may not have considered before, a man of substance, quietude and stability, a cerebral creature with a culture all his own. In short, a geek. Why Geek Dudes Rule They are generally available. Other women will tend not to steal them. They can fix things. Your parents will love them. They're smart. Where The Geek Dude Lurks While they are often into alternative music, geek dudes tend not to go to shows too often. Instead you'll find them hanging out with their friends, discussing the latest hardware revolution or perfecting their Bill Gates impressions. You know how some people wear t-shirts with their favorite bands on them, thus showing that they went to certain shows? Well, geek dudes wear t-shirts with the logos of different software companies on them, thus showing that they are up on the latest, um, releases. A small, though convivial, rivalry may be detected here amongst the geek dudes. Try wearing one yourself and see if he strikes up a conversation. Of course the best way to meet a geek dude is through the Internet. All geeks harbor a secret fantasy about meeting some girl in cyberspace, carrying on an e-mail romance in which he has the chance to combine an activity he is comfortable with, computing, with one he is very uncomfortable with, socializing. To many geek dudes, cyberdating is just an advanced form of some kind of video game, but they are frustrated by a lack of players. Their lack is your strength. Imprinting You might notice that these men harbor some strange ideas about how the world works and some particularly strange ideas about women. There is a reason for this. Because they've had limited interpersonal experience, geek dudes must look elsewhere for behavior models. Lacking a real world social milieu, geeks often go through a transference stage with such narratives, and try to model their interactions on them. Thus, certain media images and themes come to have an overly cathected, metaphorized reality to them, while the rest of us view such programming as mere entertainment. Case in point, our next topic... The Trek factor If you're not up on your Star Trek, you can forget about getting or keeping a geek dude. And I'm not just talking vintage-era Captain Kirk and Spock either. You've got to be up on your The Next Generation, your Deep Space Nine, your Babylon 5. Armed with your own knowledge of Federation policies, you can better gauge when and how to act. The sexual politics of Star Trek are pretty blunt: the men run the technology and the ship, and the women are caretakers (a doctor and a counselor). Note the sexual tensions on the bridge of the Enterprise: the women, in skin tight uniforms, and with luxuriant, flowing hair. The men, often balding, and sporting some sort of permanently attached computer auxiliary. This world metaphorizes the fantasies of the geek dude, who sees himself in the geeky - but - heroic male officers and who secretly desires a sexy, smart, Deanna or Bev to come along and deferentially accept him for who he is. If you are willing to accept that this is his starting point for reality, you are ready for a geek relationship. Once You've Nabbed Him Of course, catching that geek guy is only half the battle. Keeping him by your side is another story altogether. I was privileged to speak with Miss Victoria Maat, who not only got herself a geek guy but was also clever enough to marry him just a few short months ago. She interrupted her newlywed bliss to give us a few tips on the care and feeding of a geek man: Geeks are sensitive and caring lovers and husbands. If you can hang with the techno-lifestyle, they make the best mates. They are the most attractive people, not flashy or hunky, but the kind who get cuter and more alluring over time (I told you she was a newlywed). Definitely give geeks a chance. Geek Cuisine Geeks tend towards packaged, junk foods since they prefer to work and think and aren't all that into cooking for themselves. Make sure that your geek understands that you are not merely a replicator, and provide him with home cooked food. A batch of chocolate chip cookies will let him know that you love him. You do have to monitor your geek for weight gain; however, remember that most of their days are spent sitting and staring at a monitor. Geek Lifestyle The geek dude has long work habits and tends to bring his work home with him. He seems permanently connected to his hard disk. You must at least appear interested in his work. Generally, a solid understanding of the computer is a must; if you cannot master this, you should at least be able to talk the talk. Remember most geeks are anal and they get stressed about details which appear insignificant. Be understanding, put on your best Deanna Troi face (see above) and empathize. To relax, geeks love to play the latest computer games. Let him play Myst or Chuck Yeager's Air Combat for hours if he wants to. Act concerned if he's stuck or has just been ambushed by three MiGs. My geek loves to try to help people on the Internet who say that they are stuck in Myst. He comes up with clever riddles instead of directing them point blank. Geeks also like to go to sci-fi and Japanese animated movies, again, a basically harmless vent for your man. Geek Buddies Many geeks extend their work friendships into what they jokingly refer to as RL (Real Life, also known as "that big room with the ceiling that is sometimes blue and sometimes black with little lights"). The greatest thing about your geek's buddies is that you can feel secure in setting them up with your girlfriends. They may feel awkward around females at first, so don't overwhelm them. In time they will come out of their shell and realize that you are into the same things they are. Post-It Note I thank Victoria for the above advice. I must say that when she read my draft of the piece, before writing her section, she asked her husband which one he thought she was more like, Deanna or Beverly. Howard, the devil, immediately replied that he had always thought Victoria was actually most like Ensign Ro Laren, a cute character with a slight authority problem who is always had trouble (this is fairly apt). This exchange is interesting for several reasons: 1.Howard had already thought about who she was most like. 2.He could summon up characters from seasons past with ease. 3.Victoria actually knew who he meant. 4.Folks, I think this marriage will last. One Last Thing Because they have been so abused and ignored by society, many geeks have gone underground. You may actually know some and just haven't noticed them. They often feel resentful, and misunderstood, and it is important to realize this as you grow closer to them. Don't ever try to force the issue, or make crazy demands that he choose between his computer and you. Remember, his computer has been there for him his whole life; you are a new interloper he hasn't quite grasped yet Geek dudes thrive on mystery and love challenges and intellectual puzzles. Don't you consider yourself one? Wouldn't you like a little intellectual stimulation or your own? We thought so. Posted by: ericf Jul 20 2004, 04:39 PM Hey, not all of us geeks guys require knowledge about all the Star Treks. But if you dare say that Babylon 5 is a Star Trek expect immediate termination of the relationship. And you had better damn well know the difference between Star TREK and Star WARS!!!
This is only part true... I like organic and fresh foods when I can get it. When I am programming, then I will eat the junk foods. And... not a big fan of sweets. Skip the cookies and make some homemade Chex mix instead. Posted by: Tanz Jul 20 2004, 04:53 PM Even as cynical as I am, I couldn't tell if this was satire or not, so I'm just going to assume that it's not and critique it.
Let's run through these: 1) Not normally something that turns women on. It's sort of like the reject nobody wants. 2) Another thing that doesn't turn women on. I've noticed in my short life that women tend to find you more attractive if other women find you alluring. 3) Allright, not a bad skill to have but it won't get you laid. 4) Danger! Danger! You are entering the 'friends zone'! 5) I have never found this to be helpful in getting laid or meeting women in general. Most women I've met don't get hot talking about the causes and repercussions of the French Revolution, geopolitical events, how the brain uses electric impulses to stimulate emotion, or the 'totally awesome' new motherboard you got for your new PC. Sorry, but being smart never really helped me in getting laid. What has helped: 1) Confidence- loads of it. If you can convince yourself that you fucking rock, there's no stopping you. Not just with women but in life. 2) Being different- women (like men) are shallow and look at the outside first and foremost. If you're just an everyday Joe with an equally dull job, you're more than likely going to get passed up by the bad boy driving a Mustang Cobra, covered in piercings, tattoos and scars from knife fights. 3) Being aloof- this one works for me specifically. Being a cynical smartass alone has gotten me laid, however simply treating women with a sort of apathy works too. Whatever it is, find your nitch and stick with it. Of course this is a generalization about men and women, but hey, life is too fucking random for absolutes. And whatever you 'geeks' do, don't blame women or 'players' for your troubles. It's up to you to avoid the trap of 'becoming best buds' with a woman you want to fuck. And to you geeks that are actually getting laid because of you're geekiness; rock on. Posted by: Killswitch Jul 20 2004, 07:50 PM hey, theres nothing wrong with being a "geek" as far as im concerned. Ive always felt like one, but never in the sense that i was pissed off about it. I like who i am! to me, its more important to avoid the b.s. people that hang out in the meat market bars, the chicks that dress like sluts and go dancing dont have any appeal, save for me saying "hey, shes hot". I see the "cool" people, and conclude that most of them are of the most empty variety.. all talk and no substance. (okay, thats a gross generalization.. if one of the sluts somehow took an intrest in me for who i was, i would be all about it.) While my geekdom may not afford me lots of fling sex and nelly cd's, it does allow me to weed out and find people who are tons more valuable to me... and thats what is important, as far as im concerned.
That's somewhat true. I got hit on by some of the most popular girls in school simply because I was completely void of interest in them. I think this only works on shallow women, though, and treating people like this intentionally to get laid isn't ethical in my opinion. Posted by: sexkitten Jul 20 2004, 10:10 PM
Reliable sources tell me that I'm like Cmdr. Susan Ivanova from Babylon 5. Except I would have boffed Marcus, and more than once, and would probably have gotten him into a threeway with Talia. Posted by: woodsmoke Jul 20 2004, 10:23 PM Hehehe, I love it! Bookmarked it and sent it to all my geek friends online! Now I just need to show it to Julie.... Posted by: Lokmer Jul 21 2004, 12:01 AM
It's good to know that some things in this crazy universe are as dependable as the dawn. This gives me an idea... But it's probably not fit for public consumption... -Lokmer Posted by: Yaoi Huntress Earth Jul 22 2004, 10:13 PM As a geek myself, I have a word of warning for you: for every sweet, hopeless romantic type of geek boy there is, there's at least ten that are far from it. (That and some of them don't bathe regularly and are grossly obese.) I've had friendships with geek guys that were rather abusive because I wouldn't go out with them. It's made me a little less trusting of men as a result. Posted by: Muggy Knubber Jul 23 2004, 11:13 AM Less trusting of men = more intelligent human being But you can trust me. I wouldn't lie to you . . . . . . as far as you know. Posted by: Tanz Jul 23 2004, 08:28 PM
How was it abusive? And if you're a mildly attractive woman, being "friends" with a geeky, horny guy isn't usually a good thing. In fact, platonic friendships for the most part (especially if the guy is deep down attracted to the chick; which they normally are) are complete bullshit. Even that stupid movie "When Harry met Sally" has them getting together at the end. I love it when women make friends with lots of guys and then get grossed out when one makes a move for them. 'But I thought we were just friends!' Women that surround themselves with guy "friends" tend to be attention whores who can't get along with other women because they want to be in the spotlight and other women won't allow this. To rectify it, the attention whore makes friends with guys who easily lavish her with attention. In a group of guys with one good looking chick, the lady is going to be the star there. Do yourself a favor and make friends with gay guys or other women. Posted by: spamandham Jul 23 2004, 09:00 PM We older geeks have had a chance to actually develop non-technical interests and are ever so slightly more social. I concur that we get better looking with time. Posted by: woodsmoke Jul 24 2004, 12:55 AM You probably have a point there. I don't think I'm necessarily unattractive--most of the ladies (and a few of the men* ) here have seen to that, absolutely wonderful people that they are. However, though I'm in no rush to grow old (with absolutely no intention of growing up ), I sure won't miss being rid of this damn acne. I swear, if scientists developed an automobile which could run off the oils produced by human skin, I could power one with my face alone. *While it's always flattering to know a woman finds me attractive, I have yet to find someone who's as much fun to joke with about it as Dennis. Posted by: Yaoi Huntress Earth Jul 27 2004, 03:45 PM
The first one was during my young and stupid days and he thought touching my butt and/or tit was ok. I'll admit I had almost no friends as a teenager (and a number of my female friendships at the time usually led to some kind of backstabbing) so I put up with it until I realized I was had. Second "friend" I made had a girl friend at the time so I thought I didn't have to worry about him liking me. They eventually broke-up and we stayed friends when I told him no, but then he got controlling and took delight in scareing/humiliating me in public. I realized that at the time I was lonely especally since I was living in some boring-ass small town where the only thing to do is get drunk and go to church with a crappy little internship. I'm free now and have a female friend now, but as I said beofre, I'm a lot less trusting of men as a result. Posted by: Emperor Norton II Jul 29 2004, 07:56 AM
Did these two sentances throw anyone else for a loop? Latest games? Myst? Posted by: woodsmoke Jul 29 2004, 06:06 PM Yeah, I noticed that too; but I just figured the article was written a long time ago. 'Sides, virtually all the rest of it still holds true. Posted by: phoenix Jul 29 2004, 09:08 PM
i disagree with you. in my case, and in the cases that i've seen, girls are friends with guys because they have more in common with guys than girls. not because they are attention whores. and.. from what i've noticed, girls aren't "the star". we tend to be treated just like one of the guys. Posted by: yanra Jul 29 2004, 11:37 PM
I tend to hang out with guys more because they like to joke around more. I'll also hang out with females if they have a sense of humor. I don't consider myself an attention whore. Posted by: yanra Jul 30 2004, 12:00 AM
Posted by: Lokmer Aug 1 2004, 09:45 AM
Methinks someone has some major issues with women. Many of the best friendships in my life have been with attractive women. A few of them have turned romantic, most of them did not. If women followed your advice we'd still have a fairly well cloistered and sex-segregated society. Remind me - where the hell is it written that a woman is only useful for sex, or that a man can only relate to her on an "I want to fuck you" basis if he's in any way attracted to her? I thought this sort of thinking was reserved for the low end of the high school gene pool.
There is one useful thing about a pile of bullshit that big and smelly - it wakes you up in the morning. There are not the words in the langage to express my shock and disgust at the narrow, mysoginistic, sexophobic nature of the above paragraph. I have found women who desire the company of men to be as varied as men who desire the company of women - some are starved for non-sexualized male attention; some are highly competent people who simply have little patience for other women who have bought into our society's notion of women as shallow sexpots, dutiful homemakers (i.e. those with nothing else going on upstairs but the "homemaker" role), and shopaholics; some just have more in common with men than with other women; some just find themselves in an interest group that doesn't attract as many women as men (i.e. gaming, computers, etc.). "Attention whores" not only are exeedingly rare but they are easy to spot and desperately unattractive to anyone but the most shallow of men.
Gee, that sort of leaves women like my former wife (who is bisexual) pretty well stranded, doesn't it? Thankfully, the world does not revolve around petty sexual jealousies and inadequacies, so I'll keep my close female friends and rejoice with them when they make close new male friends, and send the occasional burnt offering of goat's flesh in thanks to whatever God may be out there that you do not make the rules. -Lokmer Posted by: Reach Aug 1 2004, 10:06 AM
Likewise... I'll keep my close male friends and rejoice with them when they make close new female friends. Reach Posted by: Reach Aug 1 2004, 10:49 AM
I disagree also, Phoenix. I get along just fine with most women. The only problems I have ever had with any females involved their jealousy over something of their choosing, based upon their own feelings of inadequacy and low sense of self-worth. They choose to be competitive and to hate the women and girls they think have something over them. They ruin relationships left and right and cause trouble with their backbiting and pettiness. I can't count the women who have hated me just for my hair color alone. As far as I'm concerned and based upon forty years of experience, men make better friends and they are rarely jealous of me. I don't surround myself with them but I do find myself in their company. I believe the pleasure of their company is mutual. The women I have for friends are strong; they know who they are, they like who they are and don't suffer from low self-esteem. Respect is mutual between us and they never feel the misguided need to compete for attention. Reach Posted by: sexkitten Aug 2 2004, 11:26 AM
I wasn't able to respond to this when I first read it because it pissed me off. I have had mostly male friends since junior high school. I've always had female friends, but not as many, and most of the time they tended to hang around with guys as well. I enjoy the company of guys because I share more interests with guys - slightly geeky guys in particular - than I do with most women. When I'm with my guy friends, I prefer to be treated w/out any special consideration for being "the girl" (unless that consideration is keeping large stocks of dark chocolate around), and certainly not as the center of attention. I've had better luck w/ female friends since finishing school, partly because my pool of potential friends is much less restricted by the age and location. The chances of finding women who think the latest developments in astronomy is more interesting than celebrity gossip, the Laci Peterson trial, and the deplorable state of children's fashion are better than they ever have been in my entire life. Btw... in my experience, women who really are attention whores tend to make friends with other attention whores, not with men, as most men don't have any time for that bullshit, either. Powered by Invision Power Board (http://www.invisionboard.com) © Invision Power Services (http://www.invisionpower.com) |