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Posted by: sexkitten Oct 15 2004, 02:27 PM

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Posted by: REBOOT May 7 2004, 05:16 PM
Here's a fun web site were you learn new fundie tricks to get possessed real fast

http://www.stmichael.pair.com/index.htm

QUOTE
Do you want to become possessed fast? Use the Ouija board! The Ouija board is one of the easiest and quickest ways to become possessed. (NOTE: When the prayers of exorcism are said over the Ouija board it will not work again.). When the Ouija board is used, a supernatural question is expected--a question obviously not from God. Involvement in such practices indicates that an individual does not trust God for answers and thus is sinning against God.

If you get too many points you get to meet the exorcist in person

Posted by: JimmyDtD May 7 2004, 05:38 PM
When I find them at yardsales and thrift shops, I buy them and tear them up.

Posted by: Madame M May 7 2004, 05:42 PM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 7 2004, 08:38 PM)
When I find them at yardsales and thrift shops, I buy them and tear them up.

But doesn't that set the demons loose, to infiltrate your body through your hands?

Posted by: REBOOT May 7 2004, 05:44 PM
Actually tried one of those as a kid, late at night with friends.

One of the guys actually spelled out a word, we all freaked out like pussies. Just a stupid fluke but some of my friends didn't sleep that night

It doesn't get any stupider than this

Posted by: bob May 7 2004, 05:49 PM
QUOTE
The possessed may be fine and function normally for months on end until something triggers an attack. Many times this attack is attributed to a religious holiday or event.
This explains why I get so pissed every Xmas when I spend a fucking god-awful amount of money on a bunch of toys that will end up in the dumpster within six months. Generally, my eyes roll back in their sockets and I begin to foam at the mouth. Yep...I'm possessed.

Posted by: chefranden May 7 2004, 05:57 PM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 7 2004, 07:38 PM)
When I find them at yardsales and thrift shops, I buy them and tear them up.

When I have my yardsale in June, I'll be sure to have a few on hand for you.

You could go to ToysRUs and get 'em by the case. Hell, Jimmy, what a party! Get your congregation to sell the building and by 'em by the truckload. You can have a really big bonfire of the vanities. I can see the holy dancing before the Lord, and singing, folks being slain in the spirit left and right as Pigs in the Parlor the Oratorio is sung by the choir.

Don't forget you'll have to set off gobs of firecrackers -- the Chinese say demons are ascared of firecrackers -- to chase away any demons that escape the fire.

Man, just think of what you could do! I bet there wouldn't be any demons left for 3 or 4 counties in any direction.

Posted by: R.C. May 7 2004, 06:12 PM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 7 2004, 05:38 PM)
When I find them at yardsales and thrift shops, I buy them and tear them up.

You may not believe this, but I'm not a fundamentalist, and would never want to be one! - JimmyDtD

Posted by: Madame M May 7 2004, 06:21 PM
Jimmy, you think Ouija boards are sick. Here's something really sick. Little People, the cutsie toddler toys came out with Noah's Ark play set. Yes, now your 2 year old can learn about how God flooded and killed off all the animals and people except for some old guy and his family, and two of every species. Maybe I should buy this toy, put it in the bathtub. Get the Little People from teh other sets and let them drown in the tub around the floating ark toy. I do really good voice impressions, "aaargh, mommy why is god drowing us??" It will be a really fun and educational way to get the Bible into my kids hearts. I wonder when we are going to get the Little People Passion set?

Posted by: Doug2 May 7 2004, 06:48 PM
Here is the story of the flood told by a precious little 6 year old girl. She saw it first hand! She now tells this delightful story while being eternally tortured in hell. Oh so cute!

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=62851

Posted by: JimmyDtD May 7 2004, 07:07 PM
QUOTE
Actually tried one of those as a kid, late at night with friends.

One of the guys actually spelled out a word, we all freaked out like pussies. Just a stupid fluke but some of my friends didn't sleep that night

The reason for that is that the Ouija board is just a form of divination. The demons spell out the words by moving the pointer.

Where I live there are people who do the same thing and call it "water witching." Maybe I'll start a thread about that.

Posted by: Doug2 May 7 2004, 07:10 PM

Why did I ever consider not reading this area! Oh, that is too funny. That will stay with me all night!

Posted by: Fweethawt May 7 2004, 07:19 PM
QUOTE (chefranden @ May 7 2004, 09:57 PM)
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 7 2004, 07:38 PM)
When I find them at yardsales and thrift shops, I buy them and tear them up.

When I have my yardsale in June, I'll be sure to have a few on hand for you.

You could go to ToysRUs and get 'em by the case. Hell, Jimmy, what a party! Get your congregation to sell the building and by 'em by the truckload. You can have a really big bonfire of the vanities. I can see the holy dancing before the Lord, and singing, folks being slain in the spirit left and right as Pigs in the Parlor the Oratorio is sung by the choir.

Don't forget you'll have to set off gobs of firecrackers -- the Chinese say demons are ascared of firecrackers -- to chase away any demons that escape the fire.

Man, just think of what you could do! I bet there wouldn't be any demons left for 3 or 4 counties in any direction.

Cheffy,

*whisper*>>>Will you keep it down?<<< I was going to buy the ouija boards by the truckload and sell them back to Jimmy at double the price!

And Jimmy, if you don't buy them at my price, I'll sell them to all of the little kiddies for one quarter of my cost!

BWAH-HA-HA-HA!!!

Posted by: Fweethawt May 7 2004, 11:56 PM

Hey! I finally got that imaging thingy to work!

Posted by: biggles7268 May 8 2004, 01:11 AM
I'll take one of those Fwee, I've been needing to get in touch with Satan but he won't return my phone calls. I need my agenda for the rest of the month.

Posted by: Rameus May 8 2004, 01:51 AM
(by Madame M)
QUOTE
Jimmy, you think Ouija boards are sick. Here's something really sick. Little People, the cutsie toddler toys came out with Noah's Ark play set. Yes, now your 2 year old can learn about how God flooded and killed off all the animals and people except for some old guy and his family, and two of every species. Maybe I should buy this toy, put it in the bathtub. Get the Little People from teh other sets and let them drown in the tub around the floating ark toy. I do really good voice impressions, "aaargh, mommy why is god drowing us??" It will be a really fun and educational way to get the Bible into my kids hearts. I wonder when we are going to get the Little People Passion set?

Ha! That was great. I laughed out loud. "aaargh, mommy why is god drowing us??"

Bloody brilliant.

Rameus

Posted by: Rameus May 8 2004, 01:57 AM
It never ceases to amaze me that people will turn "perceptions" into some fucked up ideological reality.

I see "entities" (read: hallucinations) on a weekly basis, and I hear voices (read: Rameus is insane) even more frequently. This doesn't mean there are demons running around in my house; it just means I'm a complete lunatic. I just run with it, what the hell.

Jimmy if you had "seen" and "heard" even half the shit that I experience in a month, you'd probably nail yourself to a cross or something. I just shrug it off and say "well that settles it, I'm completely insane."

That's the difference between someone like me and a fundamentalist. Fundamentalists are crazy and don't know it. I'm bloody frothing at the mouth insane, and I'm quite well aware of it.

Rameus

Posted by: Fweethawt May 8 2004, 02:01 AM
QUOTE (Rameus @ May 8 2004, 05:57 AM)
That's the difference between someone like me and a fundamentalist. Fundamentalists are crazy and don't know it. I'm bloody frothing at the mouth insane, and I'm quite well aware of it.

Rameus

And just why is it that I'd feel safer letting you sit with my children than I would a fundy?

Posted by: biggles7268 May 8 2004, 02:11 AM
I agree with Fwee, and i don't think your insane Rameus. You can just see a different level of reality.

Posted by: Fweethawt May 8 2004, 02:20 AM
It is the level of honesty that would allow me to feel safe in making such a decision.

I'm not saying that I would let him sit with my kids, I'm just saying that I'd feel safer with someone like him compared to someone with the fundamentalist mind. That's all.

Posted by: mandylibra1979 May 8 2004, 12:13 PM
Ouija boards are really fucking stupid. End of story.

I remember just last summer getting really lit and sitting in the dark with my little brother and a friend of ours playing with my glow-in-the-dark Ouija board.

Needless to say nothing happened with the exception of us all getting really drunk and writing all over the damn thing and throwing it in the trash.

ooo la la . . . really fucking scary, I tell ya'

Posted by: mandylibra1979 May 8 2004, 12:21 PM
QUOTE (Madame M @ May 7 2004, 10:21 PM)
Jimmy, you think Ouija boards are sick. Here's something really sick. Little People, the cutsie toddler toys came out with Noah's Ark play set. Yes, now your 2 year old can learn about how God flooded and killed off all the animals and people except for some old guy and his family, and two of every species. Maybe I should buy this toy, put it in the bathtub. Get the Little People from teh other sets and let them drown in the tub around the floating ark toy. I do really good voice impressions, "aaargh, mommy why is god drowing us??" It will be a really fun and educational way to get the Bible into my kids hearts. I wonder when we are going to get the Little People Passion set?

madame m-

I have seen that toy since I am always shopping for my 15 month old daughter and honestly that freaks me out.

I do however have a blanket that Jason's Grandmother cross-stitched for Shay depicting the ark scene hanging above her crib. Now that I think of it I think that I will take it down and replace it with one that I made.

Usually I just try to avoid it. The only reason I have it hanging up is because I feel that it was nice of her to make it for Shay. It isn't a clear depiction of the ark scene but still it freaks me out some. I suppose it is no different than having a quilt depicting the Power Puff Girls though. Cartoon characters, Bible stories . . . what's the difference?

On the Disney channel they also have a show called The Wiggles which in my opinion lowers your IQ at least 50 points if you even glance at it. Anyhow, they sometimes do this song called "Uncle Noah's Ark." Ugh. If I wanted to brainwash my child (which I don't) I would do it myself. I don't need her toddler shows feeding her religion.

I want to educate my child not inundate her with religion . . . get it right people!

Posted by: JimmyDtD May 8 2004, 12:37 PM
QUOTE
I see "entities" (read: hallucinations) on a weekly basis, and I hear voices (read: Rameus is insane) even more frequently. This doesn't mean there are demons running around in my house; it just means I'm a complete lunatic. I just run with it, what the hell.

Rameus,
Actually, there are demons running around your house. You have nothing going to keep them out. They just LOVE it when people don't believe they exist, since that gives them an open door to come and go as they please.

I want to say something totally serious here: If you are seeing things and hearing things, you have demons in YOU also.

Posted by: Bill Johnson May 8 2004, 12:57 PM
Jimmy, how can you claim that someone is infested with something you cannot see, hear or test for?

Posted by: biggles7268 May 8 2004, 01:05 PM
Rameus you should get in touch with this woman
http://www.maryannghostbuster.com/

Posted by: Cerise May 8 2004, 01:06 PM
Jimmy, does that mean that anyone who "hears" God has a demon in them?

Posted by: JimmyDtD May 8 2004, 03:27 PM
QUOTE
Jimmy, how can you claim that someone is infested with something you cannot see, hear or test for?

QUOTE
I see "entities" (read: hallucinations) on a weekly basis, and I hear voices (read: Rameus is insane) even more frequently.

Bill- he hears, he sees.

QUOTE
Jimmy, does that mean that anyone who "hears" God has a demon in them?

Cerise, if you're "hearing" stuff, you had better be careful! It's more likely that it is NOT God, than it IS God.

Posted by: Cerise May 8 2004, 03:30 PM
Then how do you know when it is GOD as opposed to when it is not GOD? Does he have a secret password?

Posted by: Madame M May 8 2004, 03:32 PM
Jimmy,

If someone is hearing things, it could likely be schizophrenia or a chemical imbalance. Not demons. My mom was schizophrenic. I don't believe she was demon posessed, unless demons are subdued by the consistent use of anti-psychotic medications. Telling people a mental illness is "demons" is akin to telling people to have faith in God's healing for critical illnesses instead of seeking medical attention. In other words, it's damaging. I recommend you watch the movie, "A Beautiful Mind".

Posted by: JimmyDtD May 8 2004, 03:58 PM
Cerise,

QUOTE
Then how do you know when it is GOD as opposed to when it is not GOD? Does he have a secret password?

It would be a long post to get into depth, but here are some basic guidelines:

1. God will never contradict his word. example: If I think God is telling me to divorce my wife and marry my neighbor's wife (which I have heard some people claimed God told them to do) it is NOT God.

2. The voice of God is "the still, small voice" which gently and quietly leads. If the voice is driving, pushing, prodding, and tormenting, it is not God.

3. I think that the actual hearing of a audible voice is very rare. I have read of very devout Christians in ministry for 60 years who heard that type of voice once or twice in a lifetime. I have had the experience once in my lifetime.

Posted by: Doug2 May 8 2004, 04:05 PM
Mandy is an honorary ghost buster. Maybe she can help you Rameus

Posted by: JimmyDtD May 8 2004, 04:08 PM
M

There is a chapter in "Pigs in the Parlor" called the "Schizophrenia Revelation" that you should read. Schizophrenia is Satan's basic plan for destroying the minds of every living person. He is more successful in some than in others.

If you want a copy, email me with your address and I'll send you one. My kids keep asking me why I buy these copies at library sales and flea markets!

It does seem that drugs are effective against demons to SOME degree. I don't understand it, but perhaps Satan is willing to trade a state of drug dependancy in a person in exchange for relief from symtoms. I think there is some linkage of our chemistry and our spirituality also. I can't explain that, but drugs do seem to alter people's spiritual state.

Posted by: chefranden May 8 2004, 04:33 PM
QUOTE (biggles7268 @ May 8 2004, 03:05 PM)
Rameus you should get in touch with this woman
http://www.maryannghostbuster.com/

Hey I got some pictures just like that last month down by the ship canal. Wouldn't you know it, I took the trouble to look at my lense, and guess what?

You're right, it was dirty with baby fingerprints.

Posted by: Luck Mermaid May 8 2004, 04:33 PM
Or, you're just finding an excuse not to take your meds.

QUOTE
If you want a copy, email me with your address and I'll send you one. My kids keep asking me why I buy these copies at library sales and flea markets

I can't wait to meet your children and tell them about the Goddess and multiplicity of religions and stuff. I may give them shiny crystals. Or what else.. I could smudge them with sage and a combination of cleansing herbs. Tht would be so much fun. What are their names? What city do you live in?

Posted by: Cerise May 8 2004, 06:32 PM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 8 2004, 03:58 PM)
Cerise,

QUOTE
Then how do you know when it is GOD as opposed to when it is not GOD? Does he have a secret password?

It would be a long post to get into depth, but here are some basic guidelines:

1. God will never contradict his word. example: If I think God is telling me to divorce my wife and marry my neighbor's wife (which I have heard some people claimed God told them to do) it is NOT God.

2. The voice of God is "the still, small voice" which gently and quietly leads. If the voice is driving, pushing, prodding, and tormenting, it is not God.

3. I think that the actual hearing of a audible voice is very rare. I have read of very devout Christians in ministry for 60 years who heard that type of voice once or twice in a lifetime. I have had the experience once in my lifetime.

But Jimmy, God told Abraham to kill his son even when human sacrifice had been strictly forbidden by Him. Should Abraham have assumed that it was a demon instead of God telling him that?

Where in the bible does it say God is a "still, small voice"?

Why would you belief in a Spirit that cannot speak to you in an audible way?

Posted by: bdp May 8 2004, 06:51 PM
When I was about 15 we had a Ouija board in the house for a time, and did some experimenting with it - my mom, me, my twin sister, my older brother, and a younger step sister all took turns in various pairings at the board. When my older brother was seated, nothing ever happened no matter who he was paired with; he didn't believe in the supernatural. The most active it ever got, and yes it did move and spell things and answer questions, was when my sister and step sister were seated - they were both teenage, lots of things going on emotionally. What I inferred from all that I observed was that the movement of the pointer was tied into the subconcious of whoever was at the table - the movements were done subconciously by the people whose hands were on the pointer. Another reason I came to that conclusion is that my sister has clinical depression (which is not a demonic manifestation, before Jimmy can spout that one out) and when she was seated at the board it would spell words constantly in patterns - all, ball, call, fall, pausing only to zip over to 'yes' or 'no' in answer to a question and then go right back to where it had left off. That is a habit of mind of a depressed person, it was a fingerprint of my sister's brain activity. Nothing about ouija boards scares me, there is no supernatural force behind it - it is a subconcious manipulation of the pointer by the people at the table.

bdp

Posted by: Lokmer May 8 2004, 06:51 PM
QUOTE (Cerise @ May 8 2004, 07:32 PM)
Where in the bible does it say God is a "still, small voice"?

This image comes (IIRC) from the story of Elijah in 1st Chronicles, I think.

-Lokmer

Posted by: Reach May 8 2004, 07:11 PM
QUOTE (Lokmer @ May 8 2004, 09:51 PM)
QUOTE (Cerise @ May 8 2004, 07:32 PM)
Where in the bible does it say God is a "still, small voice"?

This image comes (IIRC) from the story of Elijah in 1st Chronicles, I think.

-Lokmer

Close Lok, but no cigar...

I Kings 19:12
And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still
small voice.

At least you got Elijah right. ;-)

Thanks to Strong's Concordance, where I looked it up...

Posted by: Lokmer May 8 2004, 07:12 PM
I stand corrected

But I must contest the "no cigar" assertion. I am currently enjoying a very nice Flor de Olivia Churchhill Maduro.

So I might have missed the reference, but I still have my cigar
-Lokmer

Posted by: biggles7268 May 8 2004, 07:12 PM
QUOTE (chefranden @ May 8 2004, 04:33 PM)
QUOTE (biggles7268 @ May 8 2004, 03:05 PM)
Rameus you should get in touch with this woman
http://www.maryannghostbuster.com/

Hey I got some pictures just like that last month down by the ship canal. Wouldn't you know it, I took the trouble to look at my lense, and guess what?

You're right, it was dirty with baby fingerprints.

Hehe

Posted by: Casey May 8 2004, 07:31 PM
I'd like to say a few things here. Some mightn't like what I have to say, but I don't like Ouija boards myself. I wouldn't go as far as Jimmy and buy them just to burn them, but I regard them as being things that perpetuate the ignorant superstition that it's possible to contact the dead.

If they work at all, they work because of some subconscious influence being exerted upon them, and I think there's more than enough evidence that they can have an adverse effect on the mentally unstable and/or the mentally challenged. Just look what happens when Christianity takes hold of some people for example.

In short, if I had children, I wouldn't allow them to play with such things. To be fair, I wouldn't buy them a Noah's Ark playset either. I don't hold with one false belief, so why should I hold with another? Oh, and thanks for that Ark related link, Doug. I found it disturbing, but well worth the watching.

More seriously, Ouija boards have been part of the repertoire of so-called "spirit mediums" for generations now. In these hands they are but props used to extract money from credulous people, often those who can least afford it, and I don't like the idea of toy shops selling such con artist's tools, any more than I would like it if they sold marked cards and cogged dice.

It must be said in this regard, that certain televangelists (Oral Roberts comes to mind) have taken more than one idea from spirit mediums. As between one bunko artist and another, that's quite a back-handed compliment, wouldn't you say?

Anyway, that's my two cent's worth.
Casey

Posted by: Shadfox May 8 2004, 07:56 PM
QUOTE
It does seem that drugs are effective against demons to SOME degree. I don't understand it, but perhaps Satan is willing to trade a state of drug dependancy in a person in exchange for relief from symtoms.

Science drags Christianity along like a screaming brat that refuses to grow up. Sure, it makes attempts to adapt just like the sad line of reasoning above demonstrates, but the results give you drug-affected demons and dinosaurs existing 2000 years ago.

Posted by: mandylibra1979 May 8 2004, 08:10 PM
QUOTE (Doug2 @ May 8 2004, 08:05 PM)
Mandy is an honorary ghost buster. Maybe she can help you Rameus

Yes, I am an honorary ghostbuster. It is funny that you remember that Doug. To commerate my honorary ghostbuster status I will now switch to my "ghostbuster mode" . . .

Posted by: Doug2 May 8 2004, 08:16 PM
I loved that cute little no ghosts guy.

Posted by: mandylibra1979 May 8 2004, 08:18 PM
Thanks Doug. I have missed my little ghost.

Posted by: Bill Johnson May 8 2004, 08:21 PM
"When a person operating a ouija board is blind-folded, an unknown force reduces all the messages from the beyond to gibberish. Makes you wonder." -- James Rhandi

Posted by: Outsider May 8 2004, 08:29 PM
QUOTE (chefranden @ May 7 2004, 08:57 PM)
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 7 2004, 07:38 PM)
When I find them at yardsales and thrift shops, I buy them and tear them up.

When I have my yardsale in June, I'll be sure to have a few on hand for you.

You could go to ToysRUs and get 'em by the case. Hell, Jimmy, what a party! Get your congregation to sell the building and by 'em by the truckload. You can have a really big bonfire of the vanities. I can see the holy dancing before the Lord, and singing, folks being slain in the spirit left and right as Pigs in the Parlor the Oratorio is sung by the choir.

Don't forget you'll have to set off gobs of firecrackers -- the Chinese say demons are ascared of firecrackers -- to chase away any demons that escape the fire.

Man, just think of what you could do! I bet there wouldn't be any demons left for 3 or 4 counties in any direction.

Chef,

Actually that sounds like fun! Fireworks, bon fires, and dancing. Of course, no beer since it would be a church gathering, but you can't have it all.

Posted by: Fweethawt May 8 2004, 08:34 PM
Bill Johnson writes:
QUOTE
"When a person operating a ouija board is blind-folded, an unknown force reduces all the messages from the beyond to gibberish. Makes you wonder." -- James Rhandi

Bill, forgive me for doing this to your post, but for some reason, Jimmy keeps skipping over all of the posts that make perfect sense.

Posted by: Loren May 8 2004, 09:21 PM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 7 2004, 05:38 PM)
When I find them at yardsales and thrift shops, I buy them and tear them up.

Good for you!

When I spend the night at a motel, I take the Gideon Bible and the ball point pen thoughtfully provided by the motel and go through all the most popular passages and correct them.

Then I put the Bible back in the drawer for the next person.

Posted by: REBOOT May 8 2004, 10:12 PM
QUOTE
When I spend the night at a motel, I take the Gideon Bible and the ball point pen thoughtfully provided by the motel and go through all the most popular passages and correct them.

Now that is Wit

Posted by: ericf May 8 2004, 10:30 PM
Just be careful when making the corrections. If the bible is visibly "damaged" it will be replaced by the housekeepers. The Gideons give us a bunch of extras to replace missing or damaged books. It would suck to have all your effort just result in the book being trashed... something you could have done yourself.

Posted by: BlueGiant May 9 2004, 01:23 AM
Lessee, are you saying that mental illnesss == demonic posession? Despite any physical evidence to the contrary (and yes there is, plenty of pharmocological studies.) I just can't say anything else, nor should I really since it is just wasted words with a drone.

I shudder to think what you have been programed to think about other methods like the Tarot ( and I think I have a somewhat rational explanation as to how it could work, mechanistically, but that is for another thread and area.)

As for the Noah video, that was great, I'll probably have to refrence it in my next debate. Thanks,

Edit: (Why do I feed the trolls? I should know better than that.)

Posted by: Tocis May 9 2004, 03:00 AM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 8 2004, 12:37 PM)
QUOTE
I see "entities" (read: hallucinations) on a weekly basis, and I hear voices (read: Rameus is insane) even more frequently. This doesn't mean there are demons running around in my house; it just means I'm a complete lunatic. I just run with it, what the hell.

Rameus,
Actually, there are demons running around your house. You have nothing going to keep them out. They just LOVE it when people don't believe they exist, since that gives them an open door to come and go as they please.

I want to say something totally serious here: If you are seeing things and hearing things, you have demons in YOU also.

Umm... all those jesus, maria and other apparitions... by your reasoning could be demons� just as well. How to tell, hmm?

Posted by: Tocis May 9 2004, 03:05 AM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 8 2004, 04:08 PM)
...I can't explain that...

That would be the relevant part of your contributions to this topic, Jimmy. Please give one single extrabiblical (read: unbiased) reason why mental illnesses should really be demons.
You can't.
Enter Occam's Razor: No need to invent demons or other supernatural entities as explanation unless abso-fucking-lutely necessary.

Posted by: Madame M May 9 2004, 06:40 AM
QUOTE (Fweethawt @ May 8 2004, 11:34 PM)
Bill Johnson writes:
QUOTE
"When a person operating a ouija board is blind-folded, an unknown force reduces all the messages from the beyond to gibberish. Makes you wonder." -- James Rhandi

Maybe when they are blindfolded, the Ouija board speaks in tongues.

Posted by: chefranden May 9 2004, 06:46 AM
QUOTE (Outsider @ May 8 2004, 10:29 PM)
QUOTE (chefranden @ May 7 2004, 08:57 PM)
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 7 2004, 07:38 PM)
When I find them at yardsales and thrift shops, I buy them and tear them up.

When I have my yardsale in June, I'll be sure to have a few on hand for you.

You could go to ToysRUs and get 'em by the case. Hell, Jimmy, what a party! Get your congregation to sell the building and by 'em by the truckload. You can have a really big bonfire of the vanities. I can see the holy dancing before the Lord, and singing, folks being slain in the spirit left and right as Pigs in the Parlor the Oratorio is sung by the choir.

Don't forget you'll have to set off gobs of firecrackers -- the Chinese say demons are ascared of firecrackers -- to chase away any demons that escape the fire.

Man, just think of what you could do! I bet there wouldn't be any demons left for 3 or 4 counties in any direction.

Chef,

Actually that sounds like fun! Fireworks, bon fires, and dancing. Of course, no beer since it would be a church gathering, but you can't have it all.

If it is a Catholic bonfire you can have beer too.

Posted by: Madame M May 9 2004, 06:55 AM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 8 2004, 07:08 PM)
M

There is a chapter in "Pigs in the Parlor" called the "Schizophrenia Revelation" that you should read. Schizophrenia is Satan's basic plan for destroying the minds of every living person. He is more successful in some than in others.

If you want a copy, email me with your address and I'll send you one. My kids keep asking me why I buy these copies at library sales and flea markets!

It does seem that drugs are effective against demons to SOME degree. I don't understand it, but perhaps Satan is willing to trade a state of drug dependancy in a person in exchange for relief from symtoms. I think there is some linkage of our chemistry and our spirituality also. I can't explain that, but drugs do seem to alter people's spiritual state.

Jimmy,

The weird/sad thing is, you don't need to send me Pigs in the Parlor, I used to believe everything you are saying. For a couple years, I was sure that mental illness was really demons. My hypothesis was that when someone took meds, that satanic forces backed off so that it would appear that science and medicine had won the day and decieve everyone into believing that mental illness wasn't really caused by demons. I used to witness to my mother all the time, who grew up orthodox roman catholic and was really opposed to christianity because of her upbringing. I got into a shouting debate with a friend over my mental illness/demon hypothesis. I think you would have liked me alot about 7 years ago, when I was convinced demons were right around the corner. I read alot of Frank Perretti.

Incidentally I don't believe that anymore. My oldest child is autistic and that tends to run in families with mental illness. As I have been studying and talking to people and seeking out ways to cure her, I have started to find some things that I think are familial links. I believe, for one thing, that the women in my family have an inherited difficulty in absorbing and incorporating B vitamins for one thing.

Posted by: chefranden May 9 2004, 07:06 AM
Jimmy,

What if the source of your shroud is demons? They often disguise themselves as angels of light you know. The darn things are like computer viruses. They download themselves into your loved ones every day, better be careful.

chef

Posted by: Luck Mermaid May 9 2004, 04:10 PM
Hey, all the pagtans could get together and send pagan blessings in Jimmy's direction hehehe. Wouldn't that be fun.

Posted by: Outsider May 9 2004, 04:44 PM
QUOTE (chefranden @ May 9 2004, 09:46 AM)
QUOTE (Outsider @ May 8 2004, 10:29 PM)
QUOTE (chefranden @ May 7 2004, 08:57 PM)
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 7 2004, 07:38 PM)
When I find them at yardsales and thrift shops, I buy them and tear them up.

When I have my yardsale in June, I'll be sure to have a few on hand for you.

You could go to ToysRUs and get 'em by the case. Hell, Jimmy, what a party! Get your congregation to sell the building and by 'em by the truckload. You can have a really big bonfire of the vanities. I can see the holy dancing before the Lord, and singing, folks being slain in the spirit left and right as Pigs in the Parlor the Oratorio is sung by the choir.

Don't forget you'll have to set off gobs of firecrackers -- the Chinese say demons are ascared of firecrackers -- to chase away any demons that escape the fire.

Man, just think of what you could do! I bet there wouldn't be any demons left for 3 or 4 counties in any direction.

Chef,

Actually that sounds like fun! Fireworks, bon fires, and dancing. Of course, no beer since it would be a church gathering, but you can't have it all.

If it is a Catholic bonfire you can have beer too.

Posted by: JimmyDtD May 9 2004, 05:45 PM
M

I don't think that demons are the ONLY cause of mental problems. I think that there are a lot of different reasons that people have mental problems. I saw a program on TV once that showed Romanian orphanages. The children there were never picked up, held, and loved. Because of that, their mental abilities were severly hurt. They showed a brain scan comparison of the Romanian kids compared with normal kids, and the Romanian scan showed up black, with very little color, where the normal kids had a lot of color, which is a function of brain activity. There can be other problems, physical, chemical, etc.

Posted by: Fweethawt May 9 2004, 06:45 PM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 9 2004, 09:45 PM)
M

I don't think that demons are the ONLY cause of mental problems. I think that there are a lot of different reasons that people have mental problems. I saw a program on TV once that showed Romanian orphanages. The children there were never picked up, held, and loved. Because of that, their mental abilities were severly hurt. They showed a brain scan comparison of the Romanian kids compared with normal kids, and the Romanian scan showed up black, with very little color, where the normal kids had a lot of color, which is a function of brain activity. There can be other problems, physical, chemical, etc.

Ok Jimmy,

You seem to know who wrote the Bible, but you know what?...

I wonder wonder who oo-oo, ~*~, Who wrote the book of love?

Can you show me any bible passages that explains the importance of picking up, holding, and loving children?

Posted by: Fweethawt May 9 2004, 06:47 PM
QUOTE (Madame M @ May 9 2004, 10:40 AM)
QUOTE (Fweethawt @ May 8 2004, 11:34 PM)
Bill Johnson writes:
QUOTE
"When a person operating a ouija board is blind-folded, an unknown force reduces all the messages from the beyond to gibberish. Makes you wonder." -- James Rhandi

Maybe when they are blindfolded, the Ouija board speaks in tongues.

Now that's just WRONG!

Posted by: Cerise May 9 2004, 08:54 PM
QUOTE (Fweethawt @ May 9 2004, 06:45 PM)

Can you show me any bible passages that explains the importance of picking up, holding, and loving children?

Oh no Fweethawt, you know as well as I do that when babies cry they are just being sinful and disobediant. They probably have demons in them making them keep their parents up at night with horrid screaming. Pick them up and comfort them? Best to beat them with a stick you know. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Posted by: Casey May 9 2004, 09:09 PM
QUOTE
Spare the rod, spoil the child.
(Cerise)

Otherwise known jokingly as "The laying on of hands and other good works?" Too bad it gets overdone every once in a while. I remember a certain Catholic Order overdoing it only too well. Bastards!
Casey

Posted by: Fweethawt May 9 2004, 09:46 PM
QUOTE (Cerise @ May 10 2004, 12:54 AM)
QUOTE (Fweethawt @ May 9 2004, 06:45 PM)

Can you show me any bible passages that explains the importance of picking up, holding, and loving children?

Oh no Fweethawt, you know as well as I do that when babies cry they are just being sinful and disobediant. They probably have demons in them making them keep their parents up at night with horrid screaming. Pick them up and comfort them? Best to beat them with a stick you know. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Sure you can take a stick to the little pricks! But you'll be much happier if you smash the little ones against the stones!

Jimmy, love me forever or I'll throw you into the lake of fire!

C'mon Jimmy, give us some biblical teaching on how to raise children will ya? Mine are turning into teenagers and they haven't given me a single bit of trouble in their life. Perhaps they are the devil's children? One thing is fore sure, they sure aren't like the ones that your God describes!

But then again, if I bang their head against a stone, that could all change, huh?

Posted by: extremeone May 13 2004, 01:19 AM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 7 2004, 05:38 PM)
When I find them at yardsales and thrift shops, I buy them and tear them up.

lol... you keep supporting them by buy'n them.... anyhow... thats not your job.. its not a job discription for xtains...

Posted by: I Broke Free May 13 2004, 06:43 AM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 7 2004, 09:38 PM)
When I find them at yardsales and thrift shops, I buy them and tear them up.

You Christians crack me up. It's a GAME you twit. The only "power" it has is over the gullible. I should know, my sister was four years older than me and had complete control over the movements of the pointer. Yes, I will admit that I sometimes thought my sister was Satan incarnate, but she had great deal of fun teasing her stupid twin brothers.

Ghosts, Astrology, Tarot Cards, Hasbro Game Boards, etc.. The only people I find who believe in this crap are people who also claim to be Christians. Once you can swallow that load of bullshit, the rest is easy.

Posted by: Rameus May 13 2004, 12:21 PM
(by JimmyDtD)
QUOTE
Rameus,
Actually, there are demons running around your house. You have nothing going to keep them out. They just LOVE it when people don't believe they exist, since that gives them an open door to come and go as they please.

Well they seem to be a friendly enough sort for the most part, so what the hell.

(by JimmyDtD)
QUOTE
to say something totally serious here: If you are seeing things and hearing things, you have demons in YOU also.

You could be right. But it could be worse, life could be boring.

Rameus

Posted by: sexkitten May 13 2004, 12:32 PM
QUOTE (mandylibra1979 @ May 8 2004, 08:10 PM)
QUOTE (Doug2 @ May 8 2004, 08:05 PM)
Mandy is an honorary ghost buster. Maybe she can help you Rameus

Yes, I am an honorary ghostbuster. It is funny that you remember that Doug. To commerate my honorary ghostbuster status I will now switch to my "ghostbuster mode" . . .

Be sure not to cross the beams.

Posted by: mandylibra1979 May 13 2004, 12:34 PM
QUOTE (sexkitten @ May 13 2004, 04:32 PM)
QUOTE (mandylibra1979 @ May 8 2004, 08:10 PM)
QUOTE (Doug2 @ May 8 2004, 08:05 PM)
Mandy is an honorary ghost buster. Maybe she can help you Rameus

Yes, I am an honorary ghostbuster. It is funny that you remember that Doug. To commerate my honorary ghostbuster status I will now switch to my "ghostbuster mode" . . .

Be sure not to cross the beams.

for sure

Posted by: sexkitten May 13 2004, 12:37 PM
QUOTE (ericf @ May 8 2004, 10:30 PM)
Just be careful when making the corrections. If the bible is visibly "damaged" it will be replaced by the housekeepers. The Gideons give us a bunch of extras to replace missing or damaged books. It would suck to have all your effort just result in the book being trashed... something you could have done yourself.

I think its very bad to damage books, no matter how much you dislike what they are about.

Much more fun to just to slip porn into them.

(Or just bookmark Song of Songs...)

Posted by: sexkitten May 13 2004, 01:06 PM
QUOTE (Cerise @ May 9 2004, 08:54 PM)
Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Posted by: ~Josalo~ May 13 2004, 05:34 PM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 7 2004, 08:38 PM)
When I find them at yardsales and thrift shops, I buy them and tear them up.

Jimmy, give me a break they are stupid toys made in factories.

Posted by: JimmyDtD May 13 2004, 06:31 PM
How they are made has no connection to how they work.

Posted by: Fweethawt May 13 2004, 07:05 PM
QUOTE (Fweethawt @ May 9 2004, 10:45 PM)
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 9 2004, 09:45 PM)
M

I don't think that demons are the ONLY cause of mental problems. I think that there are a lot of different reasons that people have mental problems. I saw a program on TV once that showed Romanian orphanages. The children there were never picked up, held, and loved. Because of that, their mental abilities were severly hurt. They showed a brain scan comparison of the Romanian kids compared with normal kids, and the Romanian scan showed up black, with very little color, where the normal kids had a lot of color, which is a function of brain activity. There can be other problems, physical, chemical, etc.

Ok Jimmy,

You seem to know who wrote the Bible, but you know what?...

I wonder wonder who oo-oo, ~*~, Who wrote the book of love?

Can you show me any bible passages that explains the importance of picking up, holding, and loving children?

C'mon Jimmy! Please just answer my last question here?

Where at in the Bible does it explain the importance of picking up, holding, and loving children?

If you are honest, you have to say "nowhere", then, that honestly will lead you directly to ..............

C'mon Jimmy, you're almost there!

Posted by: chefranden May 13 2004, 07:30 PM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 13 2004, 08:31 PM)
How they are made has no connection to how they work.

They work because your fingers push the little pointer around. The reason why you need two people to use it is because when you do it by yourself you can tell for sure that you are pushing it. Now if you set it up and the darn thing moved by itself, maybe you would have something. I don't know what you you would have, but something -- magnets perhaps?

By the way do the demons come packaged with the toy, or do you have to catch your own? Who supplies the demons for the toy company? Do they use plasma streams to catch them? Perhaps they have a summing room and they hire apprentice Wiccians to call up demons all day at 10 bucks a crack.

Demon: Ok, what do you want this time?

Wiccian: Shut up and get in the box.

Demon: Damnit, Jimmy just bought me a the garage sale and tore up the game, freeing me -- nice man that Jimmy.

Wiccian: Look, who's got the magic wand here? Stop your winning and get in the box. Make sure you spell better this time.

Posted by: mandylibra1979 May 13 2004, 08:36 PM
QUOTE (chefranden @ May 13 2004, 11:30 PM)
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 13 2004, 08:31 PM)
How they are made has no connection to how they work.

They work because your fingers push the little pointer around. The reason why you need two people to use it is because when you do it by yourself you can tell for sure that you are pushing it. Now if you set it up and the darn thing moved by itself, maybe you would have something. I don't know what you you would have, but something -- magnets perhaps?

By the way do the demons come packaged with the toy, or do you have to catch your own? Who supplies the demons for the toy company? Do they use plasma streams to catch them? Perhaps they have a summing room and they hire apprentice Wiccians to call up demons all day at 10 bucks a crack.

Demon: Ok, what do you want this time?

Wiccian: Shut up and get in the box.

Demon: Damnit, Jimmy just bought me a the garage sale and tore up the game, freeing me -- nice man that Jimmy.

Wiccian: Look, who's got the magic wand here? Stop your winning and get in the box. Make sure you spell better this time.

Oh, Chefranden, that was side-splitting funny! So what say you, Jimmy?

By the way, Chef, I just wanted to mention the fact that I love your presence here.

Posted by: ericf May 13 2004, 08:49 PM
QUOTE (sexkitten @ May 13 2004, 03:37 PM)
QUOTE (ericf @ May 8 2004, 10:30 PM)
Just be careful when making the corrections. If the bible is visibly "damaged" it will be replaced by the housekeepers. The Gideons give us a bunch of extras to replace missing or damaged books. It would suck to have all your effort just result in the book being trashed... something you could have done yourself.

I think its very bad to damage books, no matter how much you dislike what they are about.

Much more fun to just to slip porn into them.

(Or just bookmark Song of Songs...)

I agree with everything you said!!! I don't think it is right to damage any books, I would love it to have porn fall out of a bible, and song of songs is porn anyway.

Hmm, maybe bookmark SoS and rub some hand-lotion on a really good page... let it dry so it looks like something other than hand-lotion. Leave book.

Although the bookmark could not be obvious... because the housekeepers will remove it... and probably notice the stain at the same time.

Posted by: JimmyDtD May 14 2004, 04:31 AM
Fweetheart,

Even animals with no childcare education know how to care and nurture their young. Maybe God felt that this was obvious.

Posted by: JimmyDtD May 14 2004, 04:36 AM
QUOTE
Wiccian: Look, who's got the magic wand here? Stop your winning and get in the box. Make sure you spell better this time.

I think that is spelled "whining."

Posted by: mandylibra1979 May 14 2004, 10:06 AM
"Chasing dragons with plastic swords,
Jack-off Jimmy, everybody wants more,
Scully and Angel on the kitchen floor,
And I'm calling up Buddy on the Ouija board."

-Sheryl Crow, "A Change (Would Do You Good)"

Posted by: TruthWarrior May 14 2004, 11:33 AM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 14 2004, 08:31 AM)
Even animals with no childcare education know how to care and nurture their young.

Yeh and then they eat them. Yay animals!

Posted by: chefranden May 14 2004, 11:39 AM
QUOTE (mandylibra1979 @ May 13 2004, 10:36 PM)
By the way, Chef, I just wanted to mention the fact that I love your presence here.

Thanks Mandy, now I'm blushing!

Posted by: chefranden May 14 2004, 11:41 AM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 14 2004, 06:36 AM)
QUOTE
Wiccian: Look, who's got the magic wand here? Stop your winning and get in the box. Make sure you spell better this time.

I think that is spelled "whining."

You got me Jimmy!

Posted by: Fweethawt May 14 2004, 06:38 PM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 14 2004, 08:31 AM)
Fweetheart,

Even animals with no childcare education know how to care and nurture their young. Maybe God felt that this was obvious.

Ok Jimmy, that's a start, but it's no answer and you know that.

Then why would Bible God suggest beating them, stoning them, and bashing them against stones if it is obvious that this isn't the way to treat children?

Posted by: JimmyDtD May 14 2004, 07:15 PM
Fweet,

QUOTE
Then why would Bible God suggest beating them, stoning them, and bashing them against stones if it is obvious that this isn't the way to treat children?

Maybe he was talking about Saddam Hussein's sons, Qusay and Uday?

Posted by: Fweethawt May 14 2004, 07:18 PM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 14 2004, 11:15 PM)
Fweet,

QUOTE
Then why would Bible God suggest beating them, stoning them, and bashing them against stones if it is obvious that this isn't the way to treat children?

Maybe he was talking about Saddam Hussein's sons, Qusay and Uday?

Perhaps he was?

Almost Jimmy, almost! Maybe some other time.

Posted by: Cerise May 14 2004, 08:57 PM
That's exactly right Jimmy. Obviously God meant for you to bash the head of only those evil infants born to people of other religions then yours. They would have only grown up to be mass murderers, unlike the good little christian babies.

Posted by: biggles7268 May 15 2004, 02:22 AM
does the Magic 8 ball have a demon in it to?

Posted by: ~Josalo~ May 15 2004, 08:24 AM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 14 2004, 10:15 PM)
Fweet,

QUOTE
Then why would Bible God suggest beating them, stoning them, and bashing them against stones if it is obvious that this isn't the way to treat children?

Maybe he was talking about Saddam Hussein's sons, Qusay and Uday?

Where did that one come from?

Posted by: yanra May 15 2004, 08:58 AM

Here Jimmy. Try using this. It's more accurate.

Posted by: Islington May 15 2004, 12:13 PM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 14 2004, 07:15 PM)
Fweet,

QUOTE
Then why would Bible God suggest beating them, stoning them, and bashing them against stones if it is obvious that this isn't the way to treat children?

Maybe he was talking about Saddam Hussein's sons, Qusay and Uday?

Hey Jimmy, maybe I should have you smashed against a wall. Or better against a new build ship - oh no - just forget it, it would sink like the Titanic.

Other question: When animals know the right way to nourish children, do they have souls? I mean, your God said: make possession of the Earth. Wouldn't he have said: Follow the animals, they know the way! if your statement where right?

Start thinking or at least some paperwork. Or are you too lazy, to use your holy book, to show others reasons for your arguments?

Posted by: JimmyDtD May 15 2004, 07:00 PM
Islington,

Are you judging me?

If you don't like my answer, I'm sorry, but you know you are taking me too seriously if you think I have to make every answer a thesis of some sort.

Now, how much evil would have been avoided if Uday and Qusay had never lived? What if you kill them as babies, and you in so doing, save your own daughter from being raped by them?

Posted by: Cerise May 15 2004, 08:13 PM
QUOTE (JimmyDtD @ May 15 2004, 07:00 PM)
Islington,

Are you judging me?

If you don't like my answer, I'm sorry, but you know you are taking me too seriously if you think I have to make every answer a thesis of some sort.

Now, how much evil would have been avoided if Uday and Qusay had never lived? What if you kill them as babies, and you in so doing, save your own daughter from being raped by them?

I take it you are for abortion rights, Jimmy?

What if you raise them, as babies, to understand that a woman's body is not theirs to plunder at will?

Posted by: Tocis May 16 2004, 02:00 PM
For what it's worth, Islington did wonder if maybe she was too harsh with Jimmy. Whether she really was nor not, I won't judge.
I may be an idiot sometimes, but I'm not suicidal...

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