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| Open Forums for ExChristian.Net > Sex and Christianity > Cyber sex gone wrong. |
| Posted by: Toulouse-Lautrec Nov 3 2004, 05:48 PM |
| bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? BritneySpears14: Aight. bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja. bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up. bloodninja: Me too baby. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. BritneySpears14: Hey... bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite. BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it. bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuckof the Beyondness. BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous. bloodninja: Don't fuck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid. BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit. bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now. bloodninja: Baby? Yeah it was pretty sweet. This one was good. bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you. j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u. bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure. j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go. j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck. bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory. j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on. j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts. j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass. j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious. bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass. bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet. j_gurli3: thats it. bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn. bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now. This kinda sucked. BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready? eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready. BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee. eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies. BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you. BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique. eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me again. eminemBNJA: Oh shit BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuckup. eminemBNJA: Oh shit eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something Ew this chick was nasty. Yeeeeaah. bloodninja: Wanna cyber? Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables? bloodninja: What like gardening an shit? Katie_007: Yeah, something like that. bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out: bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes. (pause) Katie_007: is that it? bloodninja: You water your tomato patch. bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce? Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me? (pause) bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily. bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains. Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis. bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots. bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this shit is HOTT. Katie_007: ... bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love. Katie_007: What the fuckis this madlibs? I'm outta here. bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch. Katie_007: whatever. |
| Posted by: rainyday8169 Nov 3 2004, 07:26 PM |
| someone posted this before It still makes me laugh tho |
| Posted by: Stankdeezle Nov 3 2004, 08:09 PM |
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| Posted by: Ashlynn Nov 3 2004, 08:10 PM |
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| Posted by: LadyAttis Nov 3 2004, 08:12 PM |
| Stop with the cybersex, you're evil!!!! -- Bridget |
| Posted by: Lokmer Nov 3 2004, 11:14 PM |
| I haven't laughed that hard in weeks! mmmm....cauliflower..... -Lokmer |
| Posted by: LloydDobler Nov 3 2004, 11:19 PM |
| Next time just link bash.org so people don't think you're trying to take credit for bloodninja's work. Unless you're bloodninja. Then it's cool. http://www.bash.org?top |
| Posted by: sexkitten Nov 3 2004, 11:20 PM |
| @ the magic gamer dude.... |
| Posted by: Biggles7268 Nov 4 2004, 06:33 AM | ||
hahahaha that site is hilarious |
| Posted by: Biggles7268 Nov 4 2004, 06:36 AM | ||
hahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha ohhhhhh I so want to do that.. sorry you may return to your regularly scheduled cyber sex |
| Posted by: lalli Nov 17 2004, 06:09 PM | ||
Damn j00! *sob* I had to click that link and then spent hours reading quotes.. ..and I shoulda been doing them problem sheets, dammit!  |
| Posted by: jjacksonRIAB Nov 17 2004, 06:20 PM |
| Oh, shit - that's hilarious! |
| Posted by: Libertus Nov 18 2004, 08:27 AM | ||
Libertus |
| Posted by: MonkeyBoy Nov 19 2004, 07:04 AM |
| Try baiting.org at http://baiting.org/. If you haven't heard of them, they bait online pedos usinf AIM or some other instant messenger and post the conversations. Sick, twisted and funny. Just the way I like it! Here's a tease: (NY is the baiter, Isurrender is the pedo) IsurrenderalltoU: Hey baby. NYCockExchange: Hi there. A/L/S? IsurrenderalltoU: 18/M/MN IsurrenderalltoU: I'm also a bit hard. NYCockExchange: Hard? IsurrenderalltoU: uh huh IsurrenderalltoU: Very IsurrenderalltoU: My cock needs some attention IsurrenderalltoU: can you help? IsurrenderalltoU: No? IsurrenderalltoU: I'm great at cyber NYCockExchange: Okay, let's go then. IsurrenderalltoU: you like to role play? Or do you like to take turns? NYCockExchange: I like roleplaying AND taking turns. IsurrenderalltoU: well, you chose NYCockExchange: Yes, I sure did. IsurrenderalltoU: choose* NYCockExchange: Mmm. Cheese sounds good right now. IsurrenderalltoU: yu want to suck me? NYCockExchange: I thought we were gonna roleplay. IsurrenderalltoU: or do you want to be fucked? NYCockExchange: Um. Are those all of the choices? IsurrenderalltoU: unless you have any other ideas NYCockExchange: Well, I think that would be great if you surrendered all to me. IsurrenderalltoU: I'm all yours NYCockExchange: Sweet! I can prong you anywhere I like? IsurrenderalltoU: oh I can hardly wait NYCockExchange: How bad to you wanna get pronged? NYCockExchange: *do you IsurrenderalltoU: Very badly. NYCockExchange: Really really badly? IsurrenderalltoU: YES!!! NYCockExchange: I'll bet you like getting sodomized long and hard, eh? IsurrenderalltoU: oh yeah NYCockExchange: So what would you do if I was sodomizing you right now? IsurrenderalltoU: in person? right now I'm stroking myself. NYCockExchange: Yep, same here. And yes, in person. What would you do if I was sodomizing you (pronging you) in person? IsurrenderalltoU: I'd moan loudly and probably spew all over the place NYCockExchange: Spew? IsurrenderalltoU: cum NYCockExchange: Oh, okay. I'd probably prong the hell out of you, until I shoot my hot, sticky seed into your innards. IsurrenderalltoU: would you suck me? NYCockExchange: Not unless you sucked me at the same time. IsurrenderalltoU: sounds like a plan NYCockExchange: Good! I'm lookin' for a place to dock my submarine, if ya know what I mean! IsurrenderalltoU: I know what you mean IsurrenderalltoU: do you have any pics? NYCockExchange: Yeah, I got a pic. NYCockExchange wants to send file. IsurrenderalltoU received file.. NYCockExchange: So you know what I mean, eh? You want it in the front or rear port? IsurrenderalltoU: rear NYCockExchange: Yes, sir! *preparing to dock* NYCockExchange: *I slip behind you, pulling down your pants to your ankles, and slowly start to dock my submarine.* NYCockExchange: Shit. I need to get lubed up. What can you do for me? IsurrenderalltoU: Let me lick you a bit NYCockExchange: Go for it. Get you slob all over my knob. NYCockExchange: *your slob IsurrenderalltoU: I take it all in, licking it then stroking it to spread it around NYCockExchange: I begin to feel guilt for engaging in this act, which is strictly forbidden in Leviticus. IsurrenderalltoU: oh well NYCockExchange: "Oh well" isn't going to do it. I feel PHYSICALLY great about being all the way in your mouth, but what are you going to do for me SPIRITUALLY? IsurrenderalltoU: I'll pray that you ge over it IsurrenderalltoU: get* NYCockExchange: Seeing as how you're already in a kneeling position, I guess I can buy that. IsurrenderalltoU: good IsurrenderalltoU: now your're all lubed up NYCockExchange: So, tell me exactly how you're lubing me up. IsurrenderalltoU: I lick all over and rub it around, massaging it in NYCockExchange: That's kind of vague. I need details to get me off. You know - who, what, when, where, how, and why.... Who are you licking? What are you licking of theirs? When can we do this in real life? Where can we do it? Why are you so gay? IsurrenderalltoU: Why can't I just fuck the hell out of you and make you cum that way? NYCockExchange: *sigh* Fine. But... be gentle. IsurrenderalltoU: maybe IsurrenderalltoU: Spread your legs wide open NYCockExchange: I'm a little hesitant... what are you planning here? IsurrenderalltoU: I'm going to fuck you NYCockExchange: Whoa, hold on here. You dragged me into this with your "I Surrender All to You" name, and now you want to "fuck the hell out of" me? NYCockExchange: I thought I found the submissive man I was looking for! IsurrenderalltoU: I can be submissive, but not exactly the way you were headed NYCockExchange: I see. But which way was I headed? Do you know for sure? IsurrenderalltoU: not totally, but I didn't like what was going on too much NYCockExchange: Then tell me 2 (two) things. What was going on, and what would you like to happen instead? IsurrenderalltoU: I'm not 100% sure what was going on and I would like to have some normal good cybersex with you NYCockExchange: Okay, I'd love to. NYCockExchange: But you've gotta lube me up again, it's getting a little dry. IsurrenderalltoU: what's getting dry? NYCockExchange: The same thing you were "licking and stroking to spread it all around." IsurrenderalltoU: Which is? NYCockExchange: You took it into your mouth, and you're asking me what it is?!? IsurrenderalltoU: I'm not sure if you're one of those chicks with dicks, or if I was licking a cunt NYCockExchange: Well, I'm not a chick with a dick. I hope that narrows things down for you. IsurrenderalltoU: so what in the world is your submarine? NYCockExchange: Um. I think I just caught you in a lie. IsurrenderalltoU: like what? NYCockExchange: NYCockExchange: Good! I'm lookin' for a place to dock my submarine, if ya know what I mean! IsurrenderalltoU: I know what you mean IsurrenderalltoU: At that point I thought you had put on one those dildos or something NYCockExchange: Oh. Would that have been a turn-off for you? IsurrenderalltoU: kind of IsurrenderalltoU: so what exactly were you talking about? NYCockExchange: Well, once again, you can relax - I'm not wearing a dildo, and I don't own any. IsurrenderalltoU: so I'm sorry for my ignorance, but what is your submarine? NYCockExchange: It's a metaphor for my sex organ. IsurrenderalltoU: Oh, that's a new one for me. A ubmarine has always been used for the guys sex-organ NYCockExchange: Yes. It's always been used that way, and probably always will. Then there's the little joke about it being full of "sea-men". But we'll put the little silly jokes aside and get straight to the sodomy, okay? IsurrenderalltoU: uh huh NYCockExchange: Alright! IsurrenderalltoU: You're 13? NYCockExchange: Yes. 13-F-UT. You're 18-M-MN, right? IsurrenderalltoU: yes IsurrenderalltoU: Where did you learn all this? NYCockExchange: Where did I learn all of what? IsurrenderalltoU: sodomy, "sea-men" etc. etc NYCockExchange: Well, let's just say I wasn't exactly raised in a sheltered environment. IsurrenderalltoU: Meaning NYCockExchange: Meaning that growing up in Baiting has been rough on me. I've heard so much filthy, disgusting stuff from Kaen, Dirk, and Sven that my mind hasn't been the same since, and will probably never be. NYCockExchange: It's a rough community. IsurrenderalltoU: It must be IsurrenderalltoU: In the picture, which one are you? NYCockExchange: *nods* I'm the one on the left. IsurrenderalltoU: You are very pretty NYCockExchange: Thanks. I mean it. I feel dirty after having been with Dirk. IsurrenderalltoU: did he rape you? NYCockExchange: No... but I witnessed his foul deeds. NYCockExchange: He's raped others. IsurrenderalltoU: that's awful NYCockExchange: Yeah. Then he posts it on the internet, for all the world to see. IsurrenderalltoU: That's gross! IsurrenderalltoU: What has he done to you? NYCockExchange: Yeah. Baiting's bad, evil. NYCockExchange: He's done nothing to me directly, except fellate me. And I actually enjoyed it. IsurrenderalltoU: Baiting Utah? NYCockExchange: It's not limited to just Utah. NYCockExchange: In some cases, it goes all the way to MN. NYCockExchange: *ahem* But, back to the sex. I want some, you want some. Right? IsurrenderalltoU: I guess NYCockExchange: That's not convincing enough. Tell me (in caps, if you will) that you wanna get pronged!! IsurrenderalltoU: I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME!!!!!!!! NYCockExchange: Yes! You want me to prong you? Tell it to me!!! IsurrenderalltoU: I WANT YOU TO PRONG ME!!!!!!!!! NYCockExchange: Yes! You want it hard?!? Your want me to prong your ass off? IsurrenderalltoU: YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!1 NYCockExchange: Well!! Say it! In bold, with a huge font!! IsurrenderalltoU: I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME!!!!!!!!! NYCockExchange: Right!!! And HOW do you want it?!?! IsurrenderalltoU: HARD!!!!!!! NYCockExchange: Hard?!? In every orifice?!?! IsurrenderalltoU: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NYCockExchange: Well hallelujah!!! Are you gonna take ALL of me, ALL of my length and girth, and take it like a man!?!?! IsurrenderalltoU: YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NYCockExchange: Are you ready to experience the most amazing sodomy anyone has ever engaged in over the internet?!?!?! IsurrenderalltoU: OH FUCK YES!!!!!!!!! NYCockExchange: Are you aware through the many, many hints that I've given, that I'm a 38-year-old male who wants to shove his thick, hard submarine deep into your tight asshole?!?!? NYCockExchange: Hello? |
| Posted by: MonkeyBoy Nov 19 2004, 07:28 AM |
| I am reading bash.org and people around me must think I have Terrets (?); I am giggling and shaking like Jell-O from laughing so hard! Thanks, LloydDobler! |
| Posted by: rainyday8169 Nov 19 2004, 08:06 AM | ||
Sorry that just brought back a memory from Yahoo Messenger 1999 I really had no Idea at the time what I was getting myself into Hehehehehe |
| Posted by: Ashlynn Nov 19 2004, 11:18 AM | ||
A real funny site. I sort of liked this guy's poetry: 
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